It’s All About the Expectations…
When you set up a date, whether through online dating or a fix-up from a friend, expectations play a major role in determining your success and happiness. Meet or exceed your expectations and you are likely to have a good time. Fail to meet your expectations and you’re going home to a stiff drink and some crying.
Try to think about online dating as a process, or a job, or a hobby that you enjoy. You want a positive outcome. Use your skills as an intelligent human to make it happen. Set your expectations well, and you’re going to have a great online dating process.
We all know a little about psychology, it is part of our daily life. We analyze our activities and decisions every day. We think about performing better, and making better decisions. Use what you know about yourself to set appropriate expectations for your online dating experiences. Put yourself in a position to succeed by making your dates exceed your expectations.
When you exceed your expectation, you’re going to find someone you like, and someone you want to know better. You might not find the right person the first time, or even the second time, but you will be in a position to select what you want, not just what is available. People who exceed their expectations are happy with life, they always do better than they expect, and that makes them happy!
Try to think about it this way… Walk into a fast food joint and get yourself a burger. You probably have a very low expectation. Now go to an expensive steakhouse and order a burger, you probably have a very high expectation. Your burgers may be made of the same meat, but they sure taste different. Your taste may depend on the context of the situation, your expectations are different. You expect a classy burger to taste better.
So what does this all mean? It means that you can set your expectations so high that nobody can meet or exceed what you expect out of a potential mate!
When you’re dating online, you have the opportunity to view thousands of profiles. How do you choose one to contact? Don’t choose just one, choose several, and just do it! Don’t agonize over a picture, or a hobby, or if they like dogs. You never know what you’re going to get, and you never know if they are being totally honest until you meet in person. The bottom line – don’t get attached to someone before you meet them. If you fall in love with a picture, and they don’t actually look like their picture, your date will fall below your expectations, and you won’t move on to the next date. Your spurned date may be a beautiful person; they just made a bad picture decision.
Contact anyone you like, but be realistic. Don’t only contact the most attractive people. Be honest; know who you are, and who you can get. Reach high, but don’t reach for the stars, they are far away. Pick people who are like you. People are attracted to other people who are like themselves. Models find models, and farmers find farmers. That’s the way our species works; use this information instead of fighting it. If you expect a ten every time, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.
Lastly, make sure that you contact many people, and go on many dates before you decide you have found your one. The more people you meet, the better you can refine your expectations to ensure that you are satisfied with a person that will fit your needs.